the title of this post has two meanings:
a) go listen to this song here. it soothes the soul. really.
b) i hate sitting down and writing in my journal. not because of the quiet, self reflection involved, but because my thoughts fly far too fast for my hand to write, and then my hand hurts, and then it’s not neat enough, etc. etc. one of the reasons i love blogging is because it affords me an “online journal” of sorts, one that allows me to think about things, and edit things, and organize things in accordance with my thoughts.
so here. i’m using my pal bloggie to say this: i have fallen off of the wagon.
thursday i had to work late, friday ditto, and all i wanted to do was go home and sleep. saturday was full of plans (tutoring, hard core cleaning, had a party) and sunday was sleeping(until two!) and going grocery shopping/hanging out. add no working out plus eating like poo poo, and you get one disappointed homegirl. the thing is, i’m not beating myself up.
let’s take the positive, shall we? my idea of “messing up” eating wise is so different than it used to be, in a good way. gone are the pints of ice cream and the boxes of pasta… now, i’m just eating more than i know i should be, eating past a point of fullness. i can still detect the body for life changes in my body, and have no doubt that i will hop right back into my schedule. today.
second, i’ve remained very active. i am no longer just a lump lying on the couch watching reruns of millionaire matchmaker (don’t judge, it’s so good) – instead i am walking around, cleaning, riding my bike, hanging out with friends…
i have detected a marked difference in my attitude that has in turn had a marked difference in what i define as “messing up,” “falling of the wagon,” “disrespecting my body.”
i am here to be honest, here to tell you that although i am disappointed in myself, i am proud that i am not letting it win. i am proud that i am able to be honest with myself, with you, and that i am hopping right back on said wagon to have the body i know i deserve.
well, this was serious, but an announcement had to be made.
back to regularly scheduled posting tomorrow! between roommates moving out and in, and crazy craziness at work, things have been a little up in the air.
i’ve missed you!
how do you get over a rough patch with taking care of yourself? i usually resign myself to its vicious cycle, but am determined to take a stand this time around.